Tooth Fairy Woes

The tooth fairy in our house has a horrible track record – so bad, that it has become a joke.

The first offense happened with #1 long, long ago…  He walked into our room the morning after yanking one of his first few teeth and said “Guess what the tooth fairy gave me?”  And then, as he held his little tooth out in his hand he exclaimed “Nothin!”  It was hilarious to me – but he was pretty hacked off about the whole thing.

Over a decade later, things have not gotten any better.  In fact, our tooth fairy is so bad, that the kids don’t bother anymore with the whole tooth under the pillow act – they just turn the tooth in to mom for some cash.

Today topped all tooth fairy incidents to date.  #6 spent several days working on a tooth and then finally tore it out yesterday.  Without our knowledge she hand crafted a combination tooth pouch and tooth fairy note made with lined paper and staples.  She placed the tooth in the pouch and went to sleep.

This morning, she and #5 stood over me – hands on hips, narrow eyed, basically fuming as I was staring at my computer.  I knew I was in trouble, but I had no clue as to why.  #6 held out her tooth and said “Recognize this?”  #5 said “He should, he is the tooth fairy you know…”

Busted.  I forgot again.  I made some lame excuse about how this happens when the tooth fairy can’t find the tooth, blah, blah, blah.  #6 said “Well, I don’t know how you could have missed the note”.  I told her we’d work it out.

They popped on the TV and I went to work looking for some spare cash.  I had nothing in my wallet, so I scanned the counter tops and things for a few bucks.  A ha!  2 crumpled up dollars.  Bingo.

I went up and found the note/pouch combo that #6 had prepared for me the night before.  It read, verbatim:

to: tooth fairy
from: #6

I really want a fish but you have to take my tooth because last time you didn’t take my tooth.

sinsearly #6

tooth in here (printed on the stabled pouch)

A fish?  Anyway, I stuck the 2 bucks into the pouch and disposed of the tooth and made up a story about how the tooth fairy indeed could not find the note last night, but recently found it and sure enough there was some money waiting!

#6 ran upstairs and then came back down, disgusted.  “Dad, those were my own 2 dollars you stuck in there”

The tooth fairy – aka – loser.