As Hot as Harriet

My fourth-grade daughter was telling me about a boy in her class who likes her.  I think she likes Connor, too, although she won’t realize it until at least 7th grade.  Anyway, another boy told her that Connor said she’s “hot” and also said this:

“If she was Harriet Tubman and I was John Tubman, that would be sweet.”

(By the way, can a skinny, flat-chested 10-year-old really be “hot”?)

Sounds Like a Beauty

On Sunday evenings, my husband co-teaches Confirmation to a dozen 8th graders (mostly boys) at church.  Last night I got to be his helper/sergeant-at-arms.  On the way home, with 4 of the boys in our car – who were releasing all the gas they had pent up during Confirmation – we overheard this conversation.  I promise I’m not embellishing…

#4: In Social Studies I farted and I pretended I didn’t.  But Alyssa Schmitt knew and said, “I heard that!”

Sam: Who’s Alyssa Schmitt?

#4: You know, Alyssa Schmitt!

Nate: No, who’s that?

#4: She’s got glasses and sort of an underbite?

Sam: I don’t know who you’re talking about.

#4: Oh yeah, and she has really long fingers.

Overheard – secondhand

From my friend…

“Your girls and I were on our way to Target in my Yukon, which had just pulled the float for the Fourth of July parade, apparently driven by your husband…”

#6: It smells like my dad in here.

My friend: What does your dad smell like?

#6: Beer.

#5: Daddy doesn’t smell like beer.

#6: Yes he does, he drinks it all the time.

My friend: (praying silently) Please God don’t let this conversation stop.

#5: Well, he doesn’t smell like beer.

#6: But he always drinks it.

Honest, he doesn’t always drink it.  It’s just that it’s a little, well, stressful around here.  Cut us some slack!

Overheard…

Last night, my husband was quizzing the girls on their Bible knowledge (which they asked him to do, for the record). Here are some highlights:

1. Who was Jesus’ mother?

Moses

2. What was Abraham’s son’s name?

Lincoln

3. Who was the guy who led the people out of Egypt?

Massachusetts

4. Who was Jesus’ cousin?

Pete

Pierre

5. Was Paul a Christian or a Jew?

Well, he left the Jew when he became a Christian

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This morning, #6 took Communion for the first time. On the way home from church, I asked her what she thought of it. She said, “It was great! I felt like a woman!”

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#4 (the walking party) is outside on the trampoline with a half dozen of his friends. Someone just said, “I didn’t know fish had nipples.”