Archive for July, 2008

It’s Been How Long?

Yesterday, mom bought the girls new bedding.  It’s not all that different from what they had before, but for some reason their room just HAD to be repainted to match.  So, off they went finding the most startling shade of wild pink known to man.

As the girls got going with drop-cloths, brushes and rollers – I remembered that I had never finished painting our front entryway.

I recall being pinched for time – we were having a party or something and I would not be able to finish it all, especially since our front entryway extends all the way up into our upstairs hallway – it all connects.  So, I finished everything but the upstairs.  No one would see the upstairs – I’d finish it next weekend.

That was, ummm, 15 months ago.  Oops!  Home Depot conveniently puts the date on the paint can to help us remember just how long we have blown off finishing a project – yep, April 14, 2007.

Anybody out there want to top a 15 month hallway painting project?

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July 26, 2008 at 9:25 pm 2 comments

UH DOY!

File this one under “Dumb Things I’ve Done Lately.”

Today I decided to bring a platter of sand & small shells home in my car.  A platter.  I also decided to balance a vase full of sand and small shells on top of the platter.  With my elbow.

Sand in the cracks of the seat.  Sand on the floor of the front seat.  Sand in the cup holder.  And the vacuum that worked last week mysteriously has no suction today.

I clearly overestimated both my driving skills and my reflexes.  And maybe my reasoning skills, too.

July 23, 2008 at 2:11 pm 3 comments

Maggie

One of my best friends is on her way to my house.  I’m so excited I could pee.  She’s blowing into town for a family wedding, so I won’t get to see her for more than a couple hours.  Completely my loss.

Maggie is tall and funny and loud and beautiful.  She can talk you into anything and talk her way out of anything.  She has tall, athletic, beautiful kids and married a quiet, brilliant guy with a great sense of humor – probably the only man who could tame her.

She and I have laughed and cried through the ups and downs of life.  Throwing parties for each other, bringing casseroles and visiting each other in the hospital, serving on committees and raising kids together, attending funerals together, sharing countless pots of coffee (and a few gin & tonics), and bailing each other out.  Omaha called her away 5 years ago, and I miss her more each year.

I could go on and on, but I really wanted to say that one of my very favorite things about her is her one and only daughter, Annie.  She is exactly 7 weeks older than my #4, so they got to be babies together.  Theirs has been a unique friendship; they see each other once a year at best since she moved away, but they pick up where they left off.  I keep waiting for them to be awkward with each other (especially since they’re 13 now, and she is a good 8 inches taller than he is), but it doesn’t happen.  Go figure.

Anyway, I’ve got a house to clean and lunch to prepare…

July 17, 2008 at 10:29 am 2 comments

Dessert

Sometimes the simple stuff gets a bit complex.  Take dessert for example.  Usually dessert is one of those simpler things that makes everyone feel good.  However, getting to the everyone feeling good moment can take some doing.  Here’s how…

9:30am:  Grandma is excited about a dessert her friend Jan is making for tonight – it sound really yummy.

Noonish:  Grandma mentions that the dessert needs to be picked up from Jan’s at 4:30.

3:10pm: Grandma hands me a note with Jan’s address and a pickup window (4:15-4:30).  Grandma is going to town with the girls and won’t be back for awhile.  Someone needs to pick up the dessert.  I am the chosen one.  Grandma explains where Jan’s house is, how to get there, etc…  I’m on the job.  I finish my chat with #1 and drift off for a nap.

3:50pm:  I wake up.

3:55pm:  Grandma calls my cell phone to make sure I know where I am going.

4:10pm:  Time to go.  Mom has my keys and the car.  #2 can’t find his car keys.  I call mom (shopping with Grandma).  She doesn’t have his keys.  We look around for keys.  Can’t find them.

4:20pm:  Screw it – I am taking Grandma’s car.  #3 decides to come with.  Off we go.  We can make it before 4:30.

4:26pm:  I’m about a quarter mile from Jan’s house.  Aunt J calls me, somewhat apologetically, to tell me that Uncle K has already picked up the dessert.  She thinks he probably tried to call me to let me know.  Sure enough, Uncle K left voicemail about 2 minutes ago informing me that he had indeed picked up the dessert already.  I turn around and go back to Grandma’s house.

4:58pm:  Jan calls Grandma’s house and says “whoever picked up the dessert only picked up one pan.  You’re probably wondering what I was thinking making so little, but there is another pan.  I can bring it over.”  I tell Jan not to worry and that I would be right over.  I jump in Grandma’s car and off I go, again.  I am going to complete this mission!

5:08pm:  Jan greets me at her door and I am happily assaulted by her 400 pound yellow lab.  She introduces me to her husband who, as it turns out, has been pivotal in this ordeal.  Apparently, when Uncle K clairvoyantly decided to go pick up the dessert and then tell me that I didn’t need to when I was on my way to do the same thing, Jan’s husband gave him only ONE pan of dessert.  As I stood in Jan’s kitchen, her husband was still maintaining he only thought there was one pan of dessert.  No time for excuses – Jan gave me the other pan and I trustfully bring it back and put it into the garage freezer.

5:54pm:  Still no sign of Uncle K or the other pan of dessert…

July 11, 2008 at 5:55 pm 1 comment

Overheard – secondhand

From my friend…

“Your girls and I were on our way to Target in my Yukon, which had just pulled the float for the Fourth of July parade, apparently driven by your husband…”


#6: It smells like my dad in here.

My friend: What does your dad smell like?

#6: Beer.

#5: Daddy doesn’t smell like beer.

#6: Yes he does, he drinks it all the time.

My friend: (praying silently) Please God don’t let this conversation stop.

#5: Well, he doesn’t smell like beer.

#6: But he always drinks it.
Honest, he doesn’t always drink it.  It’s just that it’s a little, well, stressful around here.  Cut us some slack!

July 7, 2008 at 8:21 pm 2 comments

Dear house…

You have been so good to us these past nine years.  You have endured so many, many disasters (among them, at least 3 fires and 4 floods), changes of decor, spills, mishaps, nicks, dings, and scratches.

Because of your faithfulness, we have decided to give you a 5-day vacation from us.  (Well, you’ll still have the college student to contend with, but he’s a non-threat.)  I promise that for the next 5 days, you will not have to be Swiffered, shop-vacced, touched up, Febrezed, or fumigated.

I’m sorry we’ve been so hard on your base boards, walls, ceilings, bannisters, carpeting, furniture, windows, appliances, upholstery, and foundation.  We try – we really do – to be good owners, but like the Velveteen Rabbit, you are just loved too much!  I know, that sounds lame, but we ruin you because we care.

Anyway, enjoy the break.

Love,
The Family

July 7, 2008 at 7:46 pm 4 comments


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