The Wheels are Coming Off

December 12, 2008 at 10:46 pm 4 comments


This afternoon #2 walked in complaining that my pickup truck (which, as far as he is concerned is his car) was making a knocking noise.  He had an important mission to buy a yellow headband and he needed some wheels.

This knocking business all started about 2 weeks ago.  I had noticed that the front left tire was going flat on my truck.  I asked him if he might know anything about why the tire was going flat.  He had no idea.  After I pressed him a bit, he vaguely recalled spinning out and slamming into a curb one snowy night a week earlier.  Huh…

I thought it would be good for him to take responsibility for the tire, so I told him he needed to go fill it up, check the remaining tires, clean the truck out and get it washed.  He called about 20 minutes later.  The tire was not filling up.  Air kept coming out.  He was somewhat amazed to discover that the rim was damaged – he was sure this was caused by the car wash.  Huh…

I had him deliver it to our mechanic and the rim damage was confirmed.  Our mechanic put the spare on and told us we could drive it as long as we didn’t go very fast and stayed local – he would order a rim and it might take several days.  I drove the truck to the office about 2 miles away and on the way I heard a strange knock which got louder and faster as I drove.  Huh…

Turns out the lug nuts had come loose on the spare.  We tightened them up and all was well.  And, that is what #2 heard tonight.  Knowing that the lug nuts had come loose again, I told him to take the Toyota.  He called about 10 minutes later and said that the Toyota was making a strange knocking noise.   Huh…

He thought the lug nuts must be loose on the Toyota too.  I told him there was no way – just keep driving – the Toyota makes funny noises sometimes.  He called back 2 minutes later “Dad, something is really wrong, the car was going all over the place, I just pulled over.  Oh my gosh!  The back right tire is totally flat!  There are slash marks on it.  I swear I didn’t do anything!”  Huh…

So, it’s dark, it’s about 10 degrees out and my 17 year old is standing in a Walgreens parking lot in his shorts.  (He wasn’t planning on car trouble.)  I’m stuck at home with a truck that has its own tire problems – so I go out and jack up the truck and tighten the lug nuts (again).  Alas, Mom comes home with the Suburban (which had also been in the shop this week).  I hop in to go help crash with yet another tire.  I pull up next to him and he can’t get the spare tire out of the trunk.  Huh…

Turns out it is FROZEN into the spare tire well.  Like, there is ICE in there.  Not frost – ICE.  Chunks of ice.  I work on it for awhile and #2 has an idea “If we only had warm water”.  Neither of us had to pee, so we went into Walgreens and they gave us a bucket of warm water.  Amazingly enough it worked – the water melted the ice enough for us to pop the tire out.  I start jacking the car up to take the tire off and #2, who is freezing in his shorts, asks if he can head out for awhile to go buy his yellow headband.  Huh…

Sure, no problem, go buy your fancy headband while I lie in the ice changing this tire that appears to have been shot.  It was a total blowout.  I get the spare tire on and wouldn’t you know it, it’s flat.  Actually, not totally flat, it is partially filled with ice.  Huh…

It is barely drivable, but we make it to our mechanic’s place.  He’ll have another tire to fix (hopefully).  We headed home in the Suburban together – Mom had pizza in the oven and we were hungry.  We recapped our adventure with the family over pizza – everyone had theories about what really happened to the tire.  But, the whole spare tire packed in ice thing was a mystery to me.  As we hit that part of the story, #1 chimed in.  “You know what that was?  I know what that was.  That was gas.  Remember when me and (girlfriend #1) had to go fill up gas cans for her dad [over 3 years ago!!]?  Yeah, it spilled all over back there in the trunk.  I don’t think we ever got it all out.”  Huh…


Entry filed under: Daily Life.

A Christmas Treat for the Eyes Separated at Birth

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jana Goetz  |  December 16, 2008 at 6:01 pm

    Bummer for you, but I haven’t laughed this hard in a very long time…sorry it’s at your expense.

  • 2. joanna  |  December 16, 2008 at 7:22 pm

    I really couldn’t finish because the laughter interrupted my reading at “neither one of us had to pee…”

  • 3. #effing2  |  March 23, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    Dad, I dont like your sass — “Huh” “Huh” “Huh” but it was a very accurate and well put together story. way to go

  • 4. Glennys  |  April 13, 2009 at 7:15 pm

    ohmygosh Tim, I haven’t laughed this loud in such a long time..only I am work and people actually came to my office door to see what what so funny, don’t worry I distracted them with stories of hords toddler boys, and Marshall’s pizza on sunday nights.
    honest it sounds exactly like my house. I am taking #2’s car ( really his Dad’s car) into the shop for new tires after work today….except that we put new tires on this I think in December???? when questioned about how they got so worn so quickly he said, it could be that the part of the car that hit the pole at the JA Dance is rubbing against it..cause it makes a strange noise when you turn all the way to the right huh?


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