Sounds Like a Beauty


On Sunday evenings, my husband co-teaches Confirmation to a dozen 8th graders (mostly boys) at church.  Last night I got to be his helper/sergeant-at-arms.  On the way home, with 4 of the boys in our car – who were releasing all the gas they had pent up during Confirmation – we overheard this conversation.  I promise I’m not embellishing…

#4: In Social Studies I farted and I pretended I didn’t.  But Alyssa Schmitt knew and said, “I heard that!”

Sam: Who’s Alyssa Schmitt?

#4: You know, Alyssa Schmitt!

Nate: No, who’s that?

#4: She’s got glasses and sort of an underbite?

Sam: I don’t know who you’re talking about.

#4: Oh yeah, and she has really long fingers.


March 9, 2009 at 8:21 am Leave a comment

Is there not a recession going on??


February 11, 2009 at 9:04 am Leave a comment

“How come you never write about ME?”


Today we are launching a new category: How Come You Never Write About Me?  We get this question from time to time.  Feel free to submit ideas – in question form, of course.

Our first entry under this category is our “adopted” 20-year-old son, Joe.  Joe and our firstborn met in 6th grade, when he moved to town and joined the soccer team my husband was coaching.

While he was a little shy, he gradually became more comfortable at our house.  It was sort of like getting a woodland animal to trust you: you feed it and talk soothingly to it; eventually it makes its way onto your porch, and you hope that it will someday eat out of your hand.  Joe doesn’t eat out of our hands, but he eats a lot out of our fridge.

Joe’s voice changed before the other boys’, and I remember one day saying, “Who is that man up in #1’s room??”  Fortunately, it was just our little Joe with his new, deep man-voice.

Joe comes from a family background that is quite different from ours.  That is, he has one sibling, who is out of college, a dad with a disability, and a hard-working mom.  They are awesome, and they have created a pretty awesome son.

I was hoping to find the youtube link of Joe’s teen idol video, but for now, this will have to suffice.


December 30, 2008 at 8:00 pm 1 comment

The Clothes are Coming Off


I was just walking thru the kitchen as #3 bounded up from the basement in classic Krameresque fashion and said “Whoa, what am I doing with a Barbie?  I better put this back downstairs.  Yeah…  Freddy* likes to take the clothes off Barbies.  So weird…”

* Names changed to protect the, ummm…

December 19, 2008 at 10:33 pm Leave a comment

Separated at Birth



Mom at 19, #6 at 7.  See a resemblance?

Me neither…

December 12, 2008 at 11:34 pm Leave a comment

The Wheels are Coming Off


This afternoon #2 walked in complaining that my pickup truck (which, as far as he is concerned is his car) was making a knocking noise.  He had an important mission to buy a yellow headband and he needed some wheels.

This knocking business all started about 2 weeks ago.  I had noticed that the front left tire was going flat on my truck.  I asked him if he might know anything about why the tire was going flat.  He had no idea.  After I pressed him a bit, he vaguely recalled spinning out and slamming into a curb one snowy night a week earlier.  Huh…

I thought it would be good for him to take responsibility for the tire, so I told him he needed to go fill it up, check the remaining tires, clean the truck out and get it washed.  He called about 20 minutes later.  The tire was not filling up.  Air kept coming out.  He was somewhat amazed to discover that the rim was damaged – he was sure this was caused by the car wash.  Huh…

I had him deliver it to our mechanic and the rim damage was confirmed.  Our mechanic put the spare on and told us we could drive it as long as we didn’t go very fast and stayed local – he would order a rim and it might take several days.  I drove the truck to the office about 2 miles away and on the way I heard a strange knock which got louder and faster as I drove.  Huh…

Turns out the lug nuts had come loose on the spare.  We tightened them up and all was well.  And, that is what #2 heard tonight.  Knowing that the lug nuts had come loose again, I told him to take the Toyota.  He called about 10 minutes later and said that the Toyota was making a strange knocking noise.   Huh…

He thought the lug nuts must be loose on the Toyota too.  I told him there was no way – just keep driving – the Toyota makes funny noises sometimes.  He called back 2 minutes later “Dad, something is really wrong, the car was going all over the place, I just pulled over.  Oh my gosh!  The back right tire is totally flat!  There are slash marks on it.  I swear I didn’t do anything!”  Huh…

So, it’s dark, it’s about 10 degrees out and my 17 year old is standing in a Walgreens parking lot in his shorts.  (He wasn’t planning on car trouble.)  I’m stuck at home with a truck that has its own tire problems – so I go out and jack up the truck and tighten the lug nuts (again).  Alas, Mom comes home with the Suburban (which had also been in the shop this week).  I hop in to go help crash with yet another tire.  I pull up next to him and he can’t get the spare tire out of the trunk.  Huh…

Turns out it is FROZEN into the spare tire well.  Like, there is ICE in there.  Not frost – ICE.  Chunks of ice.  I work on it for awhile and #2 has an idea “If we only had warm water”.  Neither of us had to pee, so we went into Walgreens and they gave us a bucket of warm water.  Amazingly enough it worked – the water melted the ice enough for us to pop the tire out.  I start jacking the car up to take the tire off and #2, who is freezing in his shorts, asks if he can head out for awhile to go buy his yellow headband.  Huh…

Sure, no problem, go buy your fancy headband while I lie in the ice changing this tire that appears to have been shot.  It was a total blowout.  I get the spare tire on and wouldn’t you know it, it’s flat.  Actually, not totally flat, it is partially filled with ice.  Huh…

It is barely drivable, but we make it to our mechanic’s place.  He’ll have another tire to fix (hopefully).  We headed home in the Suburban together – Mom had pizza in the oven and we were hungry.  We recapped our adventure with the family over pizza – everyone had theories about what really happened to the tire.  But, the whole spare tire packed in ice thing was a mystery to me.  As we hit that part of the story, #1 chimed in.  “You know what that was?  I know what that was.  That was gas.  Remember when me and (girlfriend #1) had to go fill up gas cans for her dad [over 3 years ago!!]?  Yeah, it spilled all over back there in the trunk.  I don’t think we ever got it all out.”  Huh…

December 12, 2008 at 10:46 pm 4 comments

A Christmas Treat for the Eyes


So, #2 decided to take down the colored lights on one side of our front yard in order to take some artsy pictures for Photography class.  I wasn’t home, so I can’t tell you much more than that the girls were involved.

The next day, I discovered the massive tangle of colored lights still plugged in down in the basement.  I asked him 4 (he says 3) times to put them back up on the bushes.  Here is the job he did.


Note the tasteful blob of lights at the right.  He claims that he couldn’t get them untangled.  AND, that the tangling is the girls’ fault!

December 6, 2008 at 6:09 pm Leave a comment

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